Archive for the ‘Razor’ Category

Even though the Stars haven’t been mathematically eliminated from the playoff race, everyone knows that it’s going to take more than a miracle to get in. If we were to even make the playoffs, I don’t think they can survive without the likes of Morrow, Richards, Zubov, and Robidas.

I plan on watching the playoffs, and have decided to cheer for Columbus and Detroit (and Montreal and Washington in the East), but I know it won’t be the same without my Stars in the playoffs.

The only times I haven’t seen the Stars make the playoffs were in 2001-02 and 2004-05 (but there was NO NHL hockey that year so it doesn’t really count), so this is a sad time for me. I know this is the first time we haven’t made the playoffs for a lot of Stars bloggers… believe me, long offseasons suck. But right now, that really seems to be the best solution for this team. Well, that and some roster moves, but expect a large blog about that once the season is actually over.

Since this is a sad time that leaves me feeling very confused and a little depressed, I’ve been watching archived games over at the BEST hockey-watching website ever (www.hockeystreams.com) from last season’s playoffs. Maybe I’ll watch all the way through in the coming months, but tonight I’m watching Game 1 vs. the Ducks. Watching the game brings back a flood of feelings and activities that I will be sad to miss this spring… even though, in hindsight, they may not have been overly productive to my life outside of watching hockey and talking about hockey (which, if I had my way, would not include much).

So, here’s the list of things I’ll miss this spring:

  • Wearing a Stars shirt for every gameday. This was made better by the fact that I wore a shirt over and over until the Stars lost a game. Since the games were usually every other day, I had a few people in my MWF classes who wondered if I had lost all my other clothes.
  • Washing said “lucky” shirt after each playoff win. I wore my Helsinki South shirt for Game 6 of the Anaheim series and the first 3 games of the San Jose series, so after each game, I’d make a mad rush to my dorm’s laundry room to get the shirt washed before I needed to wear it again.
  • Watching Versus from 6 pm – well past midnight when the last game was finally over. I did this every night to get see how all the other teams were doing and pick out future matches for the Stars.
  • The random thunderstorms in San Antonio that cut off my cable seconds after Brenden Morrow scored an overtime winning goal. I still remember the phone call to my mom: “MOM!!!! WE WON!! BRENDEN SCORED AND THEN MY CABLE DIED!”
  • Eating duck, shark, and wings for each round of the playoffs.
  • Staring down the girl at Trinity who wears a Red Wings jersey.
  • Checking every hockey website at least every hour to see if there is any news of injuries or other important events.
  • The sacrifice that Robi made on every shift.
  • Funny Brenden/Marty postgame conferences about chickens.
  • Brenden’s hits. Brenden’s goals (even the ones disallowed). Brenden’s “I want to win or else” attitude that he kept throughout the entire playoffs. Brenden standing on the bench screaming at Tippett that he wanted to play. THE goal in Game 6. I could write a whole entry on how much better Brenden makes the playoffs.
  • Being in the emergency room for Game 2 of the first round, and being more concerned about how the Stars were doing than how I was doing.
  • Going to playoff games and getting to stand the whole time without complaints from “fans”.
  • How exhausted you feel the morning after a 4 OT loss compared to how elated you feel the morning after a 4 OT win.
  • Arranging my schedule around the playoffs schedule. “No, I can’t come to the meeting tonight. I have another meeting I can’t get out of.”
  • Starting a small riot with our “Believe” sign after Game 4 of the Conference Finals.
  • Sitting in the Fanatics section and starting all the chants that went through the arena.
  • Razor’s playoff blogs, especially the songs he writes for players. “B. Morrow” and “Turcolicious” should be hits!
  • Sitting in class wondering if Tippett will shuffle the lines, if Marty will show up to play, how many people Ott will piss off, what else Brenden will be able to do… Well maybe this will benefit my grades this spring!
  • The knowledge that EVERY shift of EVERY game is important.
  • Even though it’s hard when they lose, it’s so much better when they win. I will miss living and dying with all of their wins and losses. Nothing beats the feelings of having a team in the playoffs.

This ended up being pretty long, and I could still write more. But I have hockey to watch…



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First off, I know this road trip will still be considered a success if we can get 2 points against the Islanders tonight. That doesn’t change how terrible that loss was last night to New Jersey and how it showed this team has so many problems it may not be able to overcome this year. I’ll start from the goalie and move out (imagine Optimus Prime saying that part)

Marty showed flashes of playing well last night as his defense and offsense collapsed around him and offered no help. That being sad, he is still playing poorly this season. He goes into these slumps every season, but he has never had to play himself out of one before. Tippett always gave the starts to Hedberg, Tugger, or Smitty for a week or so while Marty would work out his problems in practice. He’d come back in 3 or 4 games and everything would roll along smoothly in net again. That’s not happening this year. I think Tippett expects Marty to play out of his slump, and I’m not sure how well it’s working out for him.

Our defense corps has problems. Of our three amazing rookies from last year, one of them is starting with what looks to be a bad sophomore slump. Niskanen has been out on front of Marty for a LOT of the goals scored against us. Tippett seems to have something against Fistric since he’s barely been playing him in games or scratching him so Janik can play. Grossman has been playing well compared to the others, but definitely not at the level we need him to be at. I really don’t think Trevor Daley is very good, and he’s definitely not the second coming of Darryl Sydor like so many people promised. He’s out there with Niskanen for almost all the goals. Boucher has been relatively invisible so far this season, but I give him a bit of a break because he did miss most of last season and training camp so it has to be harder for him to come back. I have nothing but good to say of Robi. Except for taking a few suspect penalties, he’s been our best guy on defense.

Our offense has been producing enough goals to win most games, so the biggest problem with our offense is their inability to play defense. I noticed last night how far away most of the forwards were from the defensemen when the Devils were skating the puck into our zone. Most of them forget that they have to actually play defense when they are out on the ice. Our 3 rookies look like they’re having a lot of trouble getting back to play the puck, and a large part of that is that they’re new to the league and will need some time to get used to the system. Brad Richards has been such a disappointment to this team. His defensive skills are severely lacking, and in my dad’s words he thinks “defense is what separates his yard from the neighbor’s”. Sean Avery spends most of his time skating in circles and never really doing anything worthwhile. He doesn’t look anything like a player getting paid $4 million a year.

The only forwards I actually skating after the puck into the defensive end are Brenden, Modano, Petersen, and Ott (when he is playing). So that gives us 3-4 forwards who consistently skate for the puck to help support the defensemen. Match that with our young defense corps that’s not playing up to its ability and we have a LOT of problems.

This team follows Brenden Morrow, and everyone can see that Morrow is really frustrated on the ice. He takes penalties simply because he’s angry and uses his force to break someone’s stick, knock them over, etc. I know these are stupid penalties, but I can’t help look at him like a silly puppy that does something bad so I have problems being mad at him. He needs to play better though because most members of this team will pick up their play if he picks up his.

One thing that has gone relatively unnoticed in this season so far is the resurgence of Mike Modano. The only 2 wins the Stars have come from games he scored at least 1 goal in. He has been flying all over the ice, and it’s so nice to see after watching him the past several seasons.

So Stars, the Sign Girls are calling you out. Play better!


One last thing: Congrats to Ralph and Razor for winning 2 more Lone Stars Emmys for their amazing job of covering Game 6 of the San Jose series in May.

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Wow this is absolutely the funniest thing ever; I love Razor…really. I need about 1390746246724 of those shirts..so if you’re in my way to getting a shirt this Wednesday, watch out! This just has to be re-posted for everyone’s viewing pleasure:



Word has reached Razorland that a silly lexicological superlative I uttered during a game has “grown legs”.
It’s a jumbotron song.
It’s a ringtone. (Thanks to Jeff K)
It’s soon to be a t-shirt.
In a nutshell — it’s a marketing bonanza. (And for Marty — a way of life)
Anyhoo, I give you “Turcolicious”:

Turcolicious (To the beat of “Fergilicious”)
by Raz I Am


Four, tres, two, uno
Listen up y’all, cause this is it
The beat that I’m bangin’ is delicious.

Turcolicious definition make them shooters loco
They want some treasure so they seek their pleasures from my little five-hole.
You could see me, you can’t beat me
I ain’t easy, I ain’t breezy
I got reasons why I tease em
Shooters just come and go like seasons

Turcolicious (so delicious)
But I ain’t pernicious
And even if you was lubricious
All that open net’s fictitious
I force misses (mmmwwahhh)
That gets them scribes to talk, talk
And they be lining down the press box just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)

So delicious (it’s hot, hot)
So delicious (I get them wags to talk, talk)
So delicious (them other targets wanna taste of what I got)
I’m Turcolicious (t-t-t-t-t-tasty, tasty)

Turcolicious def-
Turcolicious def-
Turcolicious def-
Turcolicious definition make them shooters crazy
They always claim they’ll beat me
Comin in to test me Marty (Hey, Marty)
I’m the T to the U, R, C, the O, O
And can’t no other goalie post a more stylish zero.


I’m Turcolicious (so larcenicious)
In OT my body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness
JJ’s my witness (ooh eee)
I get yo’ boys to talk, talk
And fans be lining down the block just to watch what I got. (four, tres, two, uno)

So delicious (he’s hot, hot)
So delicious (I meet them wags and talk, talk)
So delicious (them targets wanna taste of what I got)
Turcolicious (hold, hold, hold, hold, hold up, check it out)

Maybe, maybe, maybe
If you really want to beat me
Homey get some patience
Maybe then you’ll get some space
But I’ll be hasty, hasty
I’ll be zest with zesty
I’m so tasty, tasty
I’ll make you crazy

T to the A, to the S T E Y –man, you’re tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y — man, you’re tasty
D to the E, to the L I C I O U S, to the D to the E, to the, stop it Marty

All the time I melt it down the brothas gather round always poking up and down lookin’ for my vulcan rubber (uuhh)
I just wanna say it now — I ain’t tryin to spark the drama, little pushin’, little shovin’
And I know I’m coming off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeating how my boys are gonna make them eat it.
But I’m trying to simply tell, that I can’t be beaten like the other masked clientele
‘Cause they say he…

Turcolicious (so delicious)
But I ain’t pernicious
And even if you was lubricious
All that open net’s fictitious
I force misses (mmmwwahhh)
That gets them scribes to talk, talk
And they be lining down the press box just to watch what I got (four, tres, two, uno)


I’m Turcolicious (my glove’s delicious)
In OT my body stay vicious
I be up in the gym just workin on my fitness
JJ’s my witness (ooh eee)
I get yo’ boys to talk, talk
And fans be lining down the block just to watch what I got. (four, tres, two, uno)

So larcenicious
So larcenicious
So larcenicious
I’m Turcolicious
I’m so meracious
So larcenicious
So larcenicious

I’m Turcolicious

Razor’s Blog


Go Stars and Believe!



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